I highly recommend starting with dirty talk or sexting prior to doing anything in a sexual setting, says Jean. “You may not know how you will react to a certain scenario or phrase in the heat of the moment. Better not to leave it to chance and use this time to test the waters figure out your likes and dislikes.

BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves to be practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture often is said to depend on self-identification and shared experience.